Toenail Tradgedy & Door-Locking Drama

Well, we've had a few "incidents" lately.

This first story may give you goosebumps so consider yourself warned:

A few days ago John and Kyle were at the back door and John was holding the door shut while Kyle was trying to get in. It started out playful but I guess John let go and Kyle pushed too hard and as Kyle opened the door he took John's toenail off with it. Yes, it was bleeding and basically hinged at the nail bed. Totally dangly and all. Ew! Ugh! I know you're probably shuddering right now. Sorry for that visual. It was a MAJOR YUCKFEST in person. Anyways, we have a doctor-in-residency down the street so Kyle ran down to his house to ask what we should do and Will told Kyle if it was really bad to rip it off. EEEEWWWWW!!!!!!!!! We didn't do that because as we put pressure on it to stop the bleeding it laid back down in place and we cleaned it with hydrogen peroxide and slapped a Band Aid on the sucker. Will came for a house call a few minutes later and said it would probably fall off once the new nail starts growing in so just keep it covered. Nice. It hasn't bothered John much since then so I'm hoping since his toes are small and his toenails are even smaller this saga will be over soon.

So on to the next "incident"....Friday morning I left the house very early headed to the Round Top Antique Fair for the day. Kyle was in charge of the kiddos. I got a call at 9 AM from Kyle saying that John had closed our bedroom door and locked himself in. Wonderful. Now, I changed all our round door knobs to oil rubbed bronze levers when we moved in. I know those locks well since I installed a bazillion of them but I had a hard time explaining to Kyle over the phone how to disassemble them and apparently the non-locking side had no screws underneath the rosette. Our neighbor was home and Kyle was able to get him to help figure out how to undo the sucker. Doug told me today the assembly was like that of an exterior door locking mechanism and it took a while to get open. So John got in big trouble for that little trick. Now he recounts the story this way: "I stuck in Mommy and Daddy's room, Daddy couldn't open it but Mr. Doug saved me!"