Anna's Christmas Message

Anna had been singing/saying this phrase over and over to herself and to others the past few days and I didn't realize until yesterday what she was saying! Anna wants to tell you the message of Christmas:



We went to Christmas Eve service at my parent's church and a little girl sang the "Happy Birthday, Jesus" song and apparently Anna was very impressed by the performance because she was sharing the good news with everyone yesterday.

Merry Christmas 2010

A Baby Born to Save the Souls of Man

I am a very happy, positive, laughing sort of person. This blog is meant to be a lighthearted account of our family life and I like it that way. I usually keep my flair for the dramatic confined to the borders of our home where Kyle gets a front row seat (lucky him!) and refrain from spilling my guts to the world. I get my serious on with only a few close trusted friends and family. However my spirit has been moved by all the goings on in my life lately and the past few blogs have been very personal and sincere. I feel compelled to share my thoughts in case anyone out there needs to hear it or be encouraged by it. Regular programming will resume  but for now this is what is in my head.......

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Christmas is breathing down my neck! The hustle and bustle is almost coming to an end. I've had no desire to Christmas shop or buy presents this year. I'm usually very organized and get my shopping done way in advance to avoid the last minute mayhem but Novemeber was a bit of a blur for me so that didn't happen. I've purchased gifts this year on an as-needed basis, usually the day before or the actual day it's required of me. YIKES! :)

However, the one thing that has really been on my heart this Christmas is the TRUE meaning of Christmas. Here I go again with the cliches!
"the true meaning of Christmas"
What does that mean? Giving? Family? Charity? Worship? Jesus?

As I listened to Christmas music earlier in the season it made me sad. I would think "I never get to experience another Christmas with my Dad" or "I wish my Dad could enjoy this Season with us and get to hear Christmas music". I was sad to think that every Thanksgiving and Christmas is now tainted with the memory of the loss of my Dad.

Then I started really listening to the words of my favorite songs like "Silent Night", "Away In A Manger" and my very favorite "Here With Us" by Joy Williams (lyrics below). And I had a revelation:

Christmas is exactly what this is all about. All of this life. Our Mortality. My Dad's death. Separation from our loved ones. Separation from God.

Christmas (Jesus' birth/life/death/resurrection) is the whole reason my Dad is in Heaven right now. If there was no Christmas/Jesus then things would be devastatingly sad because I would certainly be separated from my Dad forever. But, as a Christian, I believe that God did not intend for us to be separated from our loved ones or from Him forever. Death was not part of His original plan that is why God sent Jesus. That is why there is Christmas! The most known verse in the Bible really does say it all.....

"For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life" -John 3:16

It's hard for me to admit but if I'm honest during this darkest season of my 32 years of life I have had twinges of doubt. Questions. What if all of this is a joke? What if this religion stuff is just a comfort for people so they don't go insane? What if that's it? Poof. Dad's gone and it's over. One day I'll be gone and it's over. What if there's nothing else? Silence. forever.

I'll tell you these thoughts are brief and quickly overridden by Truth. Because as soon as I start to think this I ask the Lord to reveal Himself to me in some little sign. And don't you know it....He confirms His reality to me every. single. time. Through either a verse I read in the Bible, or in a sermon at church, or through something a friend does or says to me. Not a coincidence.

The past few messages at church are no doubt the Lord speaking His truth to me exactly, specifically what I need to hear based on what I'm dealing with that week. You may call it "The Universe", "Karma", "Coincidence", "Fate" but I call it a Living God who cares for me deeply and despite my years of Bible "head knowledge" and "yeah, yeah, I know you're real God" attitude He still makes efforts to prove to li'l ol' me over and over that He does exist. Especially now. He cares about my suffering in losing my Dad. He is real and He will prove it to me not because He needs to prove anything to me but because He cares about me right now and He wants me to know He cares right now--got that? Read it again. And if God is real, well, then we know the rest is real....Heaven is real and my Dad in Heaven is absolutely real. That is a happy thought about Christmas, not a sad one! I totally reclaimed Christmas for myself with a beautiful thought instead of the sad thoughts. Don't get me wrong...I'm not sunshine and butterflies all the time...I still cry and have moments of sadness but I have tremendous hope regarding the bigger picture (1 Thess 4:13-18).

If you aren't really sure about this God stuff, I challenge you to ask God to reveal Himself to you in some way and then get ready because He will knock your socks off. And if you're tempted to think it's just a coincidence remember there are no coincidences ;) Really, it's not. God loves you desperately and is trying to show you.

I could rattle off a long list of things that have happened in the last month that might be considered "coincidences" but rather I see them as a loving God orchestrating a basketweave of experiences together that stretch back several years to provide for us in this very moment now. It's incredible and too much to write here because I'd get a hand cramp. But it is my reality and hope! This stuff is real, yo.


****Pastor Gregg's message from last Sunday was so what I needed to hear on the "Truthiness" of the Bible. You can listen to it here****

Here With Us by Joy Williams

It's still a mystery to me

That the hands of God could be so small,

How tiny fingers reaching in the night

Were the very hands that measured the sky

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Heaven's love reaching down to save the world

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Son of God, Servant King,

You're here with us

You're here with us

It's still a mystery to me, oh,

How His infant eyes have seen the dawn of time

How His ears have heard an angel's symphony,

But still Mary had to rock her Savior to sleep

Jesus the Christ, born in Bethlehem

A baby born to save, to save the souls of man

Deep Thoughts by Lori B

Weeelllll, where do I go from here? What to blog about? I have done a lot of thinking the past few weeks. Major "heavy thoughts" that sound cliche but are truly on my heart lately: What is really important in life? What matters? What should I put my energy into? Because, honestly, many things seem very frivolous and unimportant these days.

The holidays have always been a happy time for me and I am still enjoying the season, my Christmas music, doing fun holiday things with the kids, putting up our tree, and decorating the house. Although my little projects haven't consumed me as much this year as they normally would :) I've given myself a lot of grace in not having everything "together" and that's OK. This Christmas is supposed to be different.....

So I'll just say it even if you don't want to hear it: Eventually all of us will lose someone very close to us...a parent, a child, a spouse. If it hasn't happened to you yet, it will......and, especially if you lose someone suddenly, it makes you gasp at the fragility of life. A matter of seconds--one breath, or lack of breath--can change your world. Are you ready for that?

I can never say I was ready for my dad to die. But I can say that a lifetime of knowing who my God is, and what my God stands for, and the promises my God has offered me in the Bible--the culmination of my 20+ years of faith all came down to THIS very intense moment in my life:

"I'm sorry, your father didn't make it"

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. - Isaiah 41:10

(and, by the way, He has done and continues to do all of the above! Truth cannot be denied)

Kyle and I kind of "claimed" this verse for our wedding and life together: "The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy" Psalm 126:3. (This verse is all over our wedding invitations/programs/kids' birth announcements/it's everywhere!) Anyways, that verse has been and I believe it will continue to be TRUE for us! There are so many things to be thankful for. There is hope and joy in knowing Jesus Christ--even in the midst of tremendous sorrow and big fat tears. And that is the real reason for the Christmas season!

Thanks for bearing through my "intense" blog post, friends :) Catch ya next time...

12 Hours

Happy Thanksgiving is a relative term this year.
Last Tuesday morning, November 16th, my dad passed away very suddenly with only 12 hours of illness preceeding his death. I wrote out the whole story in a blog draft which was very therapeutic for me but in the end it doesn't really matter.
The fact is he isn't here any more.
The fact is I think about it every minute of every day.
The fact is no one really knows or understands what I'm going through.

That's not to try and bring out sympathy for me it's just the facts. My life changed forever on Monday evening/Tuesday night. We took our annual family Christmas pictures on Monday morning and looking at those pictures today I think to myself "that girl doesn't know what's about to hit her....that her life is going to change in 12 hours"

The memorial service was on Monday, the 22nd, and by the grace of God my mom and I were able to stand on our own two feet and deliver eulogies. Only 3 days before I was convinced I would collapse in a pile of mush and not make it through but the prayers of so many friends and family praying 2 Corinthians 12:9 over me could not go unanswered:
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
I was certainly weak that day on my own, but Grace carried me. And to see the Chapel full all the way to the back row to honor my dad....that was truly overwhelming and made me gasp a little when I stood at the podium and saw how many people were there.

I really can't begin to tell you about so many things even since that day have to come together that aren't coincedences. I truly believe God is directing my life and my mom's life to bring glory to Him. I'm not in despair because I do belive I will see my dad again in Heaven. However, it doesn't erase the fact that I am sad, annoyed, mad that life continues without him. That I won't get to see and touch his physical body anymore, that he can't watch my kids grow up, that I can't talk to him when I want. That part isn't fair.....but I do believe with all my heart that God is sovereign and God is good.

I pulled out my Thanksgiving paper napkins I bought at Hobby Lobby about 2 weeks ago (way before all this happened). The verse printed on them? "Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever" - Psalm 107:1. Little did I know when I bought those napkins that I would NEED that verse today, that I would keep looking at dumb little napkins throughout the day to remind myself that my Heavenly Father loves me even though my earthly father wasn't here today to tell me.

So....even though I have no idea what is going on here and most of the time I want to burst into tears......that's what I'm thankful for this year....God's sovereignty and His goodness....that's all I got.

....And 600 Coffee Filters Later....

....I present you with this.....

I've been wanting to make one of these coffee filter wreaths I've been seeing all over BloggyLand lately. Here is The Nester's version. Hers is great but I'm really taken with the tea dyed versions...You'll remember my tea dyed muslin ribbon escapade last year?? Oh, yes, pass the tea, please.

I've also been obsessed with these coffee filter pomanders by Alice W for a loooong time.

GORGEOUS! I had already made something a little similar for Anna's room when I saw these pictures and freaked because I liked these better. Of course, at 8 months pregnant, I decided not to redo a perfectly good project but now may be the time to do these because I just luuuuuuv them. And this??

I mean, seriously, I'm just going to have to start buying coffee filters at Costco. Maybe my front door will be coffee filtered by January?

Anyways, back to the point: I finally just got off my duff and made the coffee filter wreath. Last year I really wanted to make one of these sheet music wreaths

but never got around to it....typical....that idea landed in the craft graveyard (as Kyle would call it). However, I would not be stymied this year! So I dove in....
I like how they turned out. I have one on each bookcase. I don't think the picture does it justice. I couldn't get the full effect with my 35 lens and was too lazy to switch lenses so you could see the whole wall

I estimated each wreath has about 300 coffee filters....coffee anyone? anyone?

These Are A Few of Our Favorite Things....

(Ok, I'm really behind so I'm just going to throw it all in here together)

Lookin' cute....

Attempting to fly

Riding our bikes (*ahem* that one of us can't really ride because she that person can't pedal)

Looking cool going to the zoo

Throwing a fit at the zoo (camera was on the wrong setting but you get the idea....the freaked out light adds to the drama)

Picnic at the zoo...I thought John had a love affair with cheese but I think Anna loves it more

Working on her PB&J because little momma can eat her weight in food sometimes! It's a little different for me to get used to a kid who eats so much because John hardly ever tells me he's hungry so we can go several days without ever eating a snack with him. But Anna is a different Anna-mal
Cheers!

Climbing stuff that isn't really age appropriate but you can't stop me! I'm going to keep up with brother!

Having tea with Granny

Looking cute wearing the fall dress mommy made

Golfcarting with the fam......

Being squirmy and lacking the graces and ettiquette of portraiture

Playing golf

 Visiting with one of our favorite people....Miss Kara!!!!

Miss Kara surprised Mommy last Friday by banging on the door at 7 PM nearly scaring her to death. After the initial panic attack it was a fun surprise! She brought us Rita's Water Ice straight from Dallas. This was one of Mom and Dad's favorite things while living in Philly. Let's just say that John got a fair amount of Rita's in utero. He also got a healthy dose of Kara's voice and laughter in utero. We did a lot together and even though John only sees Kara every few months, he always picks up with her like you would an old friend. So fun to see you Kara!

Another favorite pastime: writing my name!

John has picked up an interest in writing. Nothing that I've encouraged him to do until I realized he really likes it. So I show him how to make letters and we write random things.

 We've got John down pat. He can also write "Anna". We're working on his middle name, Thomas. Here he wrote "JOHN" first, then started on "THOMAS". He ran out of room so then he put the A in front of the word but not too shabby....those "M" and "S" are stinkers!

And, lastly, a sweet picture I had to snap when John and Anna were entranced with a song from Mary Poppins, sharing a sibling moment. I love John's arm around her being the protector he is for her. I should print this picture out to remind me of the sweetnesss when I get annoyed with all the sibling drama and fighting/antagonizing that goes on around here

 

Halloween Weekend Recap

So after two days of effort (grrr....blogger!), here are the uploaded pictures from Halloween Weekend....this year was fun because John really got into the costume thing and Anna enjoyed doing whatever her brother was doing.

When you tell Anna to smile she makes this crazy squinty-eyed face....I remember John going through this lovely phase...."cheeeeeze!"

Dad's Little Superhero's

Faster than a speeding bullet!

It's SUPER ANNA!!!!

.....with her Super Brother Man.....

On Friday morning, Anna and I went to a pumpkin patch with my sister in law and neice. This year we missed our annual St. Luke's Pumpkin Patch date with Emily and her son. Boo! Emily and I have had this tradition the past 2 years but this year conflicting school schedules and general busyness with us both having 2 kids it didn't happen. bummer. Maybe next year.

Here is Sadie on a "horse"

Anna posing in the pumpkin cut-out

 Then Sadie...too cute!

On Saturday we woke up bright and early and went to the Spring Valley Fall Festival. This annual festival is one of our favorite things to do in the area. There are games for the kids like this inflatable baseball thing 

Bounce houses...Anna was thinking about conquering this one in her super cape....

John wore his Aggie jersey in honor of the game later that day

Super Aggie!

There was face painting and brush painting. Here John is attempting to write his name (his new obsession--more on that later). He's got the green J and O but the brush gave him some problems after that

Pony rides!

A scary-turned-friendly clown

Another little game where they clock how fast you throw a baseball with a little radar gun. I think John topped about 11 mph?

Little Anna's throw didn't register on the radar gun but at least she tried!

Of course Kyle had to try his hand at this game and he made it to 49 mph. No Tim Lincecum but a noteworthy accomplishment. Speaking of noteworthy accomplishments there was a "Candy Tent" at the festival which was basically a tent where you get a little bag and fill it up with all the candy you want. Super. No game, no rules....just fill up your bag with all the candy you can. I think Kyle liked this tent more than the kids. Gummy candies galore!

Saturday afternoon our church had their fall festival which we didn't make it to. It was from 2-5 PM which was napping/quiet hour for the kids so that didn't work out for us this year. Hopefully we will go next year.

Saturday evening our neighborhood was set up for the annual Halloween party and we enjoyed BBQ and games with our neighbors. The superheros loaded up on their bikes and headed to the cul-de-sac to party with their friends...fun times

 My parents came over to join in the fun!

The actual Trick-or-Treat event was Sunday night and, frankly, I was quite ready for this to be the last day of wearing these costumes every day. Cousin Sadie came over to walk the streets with us. I took about 15 pictures of these kids and this was the best one I got...um, it's hard to get 3 kids to sit and smile....naturally

We only have 2 streets in our little community. We made it up and down our street, which took us 45 minutes, because Sadie and Anna have short legs, ya know. We know all our neighbors and the kids had a blast. Our neighborhood does trick or treating early, during twilight, since most of our trick or treaters are under 7 or 8 years old. Some people sat outside with their candy. Quite a few people our parent's age who just got a kick out of all the little ones in their costumes. I'm not very big on all the darkness and evil part of Halloween so I have to say Sunday night was very sweet and fun and I'm thankful we live in a neighborhood where it is easy and safe to trick or treat with the little ones.